Pleasure as a Necessity of War
by BlueSkyeCloud9
Summary: Severus and Remus save Harry from a potentially embarrassing situation. Oneshot. Warning: Slash, threesome


**Disclaimer: The Harry Potter Universe belongs to JKR and anyone she legally lets use them. Not me.**

**A/N: Any mistakes are my own! I have no idea where this came from...**

**Warning(s): Slash, threesome (cuz that seems to be my writing kink right now), completely random timeline, Harry is 18-19**

* * *

Pleasure as a Necessity of War

Severus Snape and Remus Lupin turned towards the parlor door at Number 12 Grimmauld Place as Harry Potter's piercing voice seeped out of the closed door.

"NO WAY! HEADMASTER, I REFUSE. YOU CANNOT ORDER ME TO DO THIS!" Harry stormed out of the parlor and slammed the door shut. Sparks of power glittered around the Boy Who Lived as he stood there, obviously seething. Remus and Severus exchanged a look as Harry passed by the kitchen table towards the stairs.

"Potter," Severus said calmly. Harry spun around to glare at his Potions Professor, "Yes Professor?" Harry and Severus had been civil since Harry had apologized for looking into the Potions Master's Pensive and they had continued his Occulmency lessons, so Severus accounted the clenched teeth and fists to Harry's frustration with the Headmaster.

"You are sparking."

Harry glared at his hands, muttering, "Not again." Taking a deep breath, Harry visibly concentrated on calming down and the sparks gradually disappeared. Harry grated his teeth and nodded, "Thank you," before turning and ascending the stairs.

"What is he requesting you to undertake that has you so irate?" Severus called out to Harry before the young man could vanish.

Harry paused on the steps and his dull, defeated voice came wafting down, "He has ordered me to lose my virginity."

Severus and Remus exchanged an incredulous look as they watched Harry disappear up the stairs.

* * *

Severus and Remus waited a half hour before following Harry to the library, finding him leaning against the wall, gazing out the window.

"Harry?" Remus said softly moving slowly towards the young man. Harry looked up at Remus and smiled slightly, allowing Remus and Severus to relax a little, secure now that Harry wasn't about to blow the whole house to smithereens.

"Sorry for the hysterics downstairs," Harry said calmly, his eyes going back to the street in front of the Order's headquarters. Severus approached the two men and asked bluntly, "What is this about you losing your virginity and the Headmaster ordering it?"

Harry sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Dumbledore's afraid that Voldemort might try and make a virgin sacrifice out of me and wants me to sleep with someone so that it won't happen. Something to do with Voldemort getting my powers."

Severus and Remus raised their eyebrows in sync at the dual validity and insanity of the statement.

Harry nodded and his dull, world-weary eyes looked up at the two older men, "Funny isn't it? I thought this was the one thing I'd get to choose to give away, and here he is, usurping that choice too." Abruptly, Harry averted his eyes and started towards the door, "Excuse me."

* * *

That night Severus and Remus lay in bed, Remus head pillowed on Severus chest, stroking his lover's cooling skin, pondering The-Boy-Who-Lived's situation.

"I can't believe Dumbledore," Remus whispered, turning his head to look into Severus' ebony eyes.

Severus glanced back at the werewolf and snorted, "I can. It is exactly what he would do."

Remus sighed, nuzzling Severus' chest, "What is Harry going to do? He's alone here with just me and you and other Order members who're come and go."

Severus pulled the werewolf closer, "I am unsure of what can be done. I can only imagine how embarrassing this must be for him."

Remus closed his eyes, "And none of his friends are here to..." Severus pressed a light kiss against Remus' blonde hair, "Sleep wolf. We shall contemplate this tomorrow." Remus nodded, drifting off.

* * *

A week later Severus felt a sense of déjà vu come over him as he heard Harry's voice again boom out of the parlor door, "WHAT THE HELL HEADMASTER? I SAID NO, I DON'T WANT TO DO IT."

There was a pause, followed by a horrified gasp and sob as Harry flew out of the parlor and up the stairs. However, before the boy could disappear completely, Severus saw the anger burning in his verdant eyes.

Severus glowered at the Headmaster, sneering "What are you thinking old man?"

Albus Dumbledore looked at his spymaster and sighed, "I had hoped that his teenage hormones would have already taken care of this. Most boys wouldn't care…"

Severus sighed and folded up his newspaper, readying himself to follow Harry up the stairs. "When has Potter ever been like most boys?" the Slytherin asked sharply.

Severus swept up the stairs, reveling at the chagrined expression on the headmaster's face.

* * *

Harry sat on his bed, head buried in between his knees, his whole body curled up as tight as possible.

Remus sat on the bed and gently placed his hand on Harry's knee. "Harry?"

Hearing the the concern lacing Remus' voice, Harry looked up and gave a bitter laugh. "The Headmaster has offered to _arrange_ something for me."

Remus cocked his head questioningly.

Harry brought out his left hand, clenched around a crumpled parchment. "He offered me a _list_ of people open to _deflowering_ me and offered to _arrange_ it so it could be _done_ at the most _convenient_ time."

Remus winced, could the Headmaster get any more callous? Gently taking the parchment, Remus looked over the list and a surprised look swept across his face. The list contained nearly every member of the Order.

Harry looked away, "Or, he said, he would arrange for someone my age to be _allowed_ into Headquarters for the sole purpose of bedding me." Harry looked back at the two men and said, bitterly, "Can you imagine? Dear Seamus, I was wondering if you could come over and take my virginity? That's it, thanks." Harry snorted angrily and turned back towards Remus, "I had resigned myself to having to do what he said, but the fact that he said he'd _arrange_ something for me? It's as if I'm a piece of meat and a butcher needs to be called in to slice me, but we've got to decide who's the best man for the job." Harry squeezed his eyes shut and tugged the parchment away from Remus. "Sorry. Could you leave me alone please?" Harry looked at the parchment, "Might as well go through the list and pick someone to get this over with." Harry sighed and smoothed the paper out as Remus gently squeezed Harry's hand, nodding, and walked out the door. The werewolf paused to glance at the young man again, sympathy welling within him as he saw with his own eyes how old Harry looked. As if the world was on his shoulders. Remus closed his eyes. Well, he supposed, it was true. And he turned away in sadness, wishing there was something he could do to help.

* * *

It was three days later that Severus and Remus found Harry sitting at a table in the library with a quill in his hand and a blank look on his face as he stared at a piece of parchment. Exchanging a glance, the two older men approached his table and took a seat.

Harry looked up and smiled slightly, "Hello."

Severus nodded and Remus smiled, "Harry. Is that…?"

Harry smiled bitterly, "The list? Yes, I'm listing the pros and cons and crossing off those that are unsuitable. I mean, Mad-Eye Moody? Is he crazy?" Harry looked at the two Professors in bewilderment.

Severus rolled his eyes, "I think the old coot is going insane."

Remus elbowed his lover. "Severus" he admonished.

Severus sneered at the werewolf, "He is."

Remus rolled his eyes and turned back to Harry, "Well what do you have so far?"

Harry turned back to the parchment and missed Remus' nervous shifting and Severus stiff posture that indicated that he was feeling apprehensive.

"Well, I crossed Bill off, because he's getting married and I don't know what he Headmaster was thinking. Charlie is on here, and we've well…I'd rather not lead him on. I'd rather not ask Fred and George, but I've already been witht them so I may…"

Severus interrupted sharply, "Been with?" Both Professors eyes widened.

Harry blushed and he worried the edge of the parchment, "Well. I…uh…Fred and George sort of showed me I must be gay, and I've been in a relationship with Seamus Finnegan, Blaise Zabini, and Draco Malfoy."

Remus' eyes widened and he looked at Harry in amazement. Severus was still processing the fact that Harry had been with two of his snakes.

Harry's blush deepened, "And uh. Charlie and I were in a semi relationship, but I mean not a real relationship but, we might have, then we weren't, I suppose…I mean…"

Remus choked, "Really?"

Harry looked at Remus oddly, "Well, yea. I'm not making it up."

"Harry, he is a lot older than you."

Harry shrugged, "I suppose I'm into older men. They understand me better. More…experienced too." Harry's face was quickly resembling an over ripe tomato at this point. Taking a deep breath, he continued, "Anyway. Kingsley I'm pretty sure is entirely straight, though if I asked he'd probably do it anyway. In the name of the war and all. I would never let Mundungus within a mile of me, and Dedalus Diggle would just go on and on about 'Oh Harry Potter, sir, so wonderful to see you sir'" Harry shuddered.

Severus said, a little awkwardly, "Ah. Yes. And Remus and I are not on the list?"

Harry looked up in surprise, "Oh, well you are. But I crossed you off."

"Indeed?" Severus said, and it was obvious that invisible walls were being erected.

Harry rushed forward to soothe any insult that Severus was obviously taking, "Not that I wouldn't…I mean…well." Harry rubbed his neck embarrassedly. "You guys forget silencing charms sometimes." Two spots of color appeared on Severus' cheeks and Remus face went scarlet. "So anyways, you're together, and that takes you off the list, so now I've got…"

Remus interrupted Harry here, briefly glancing at Severus. Placing a hand over Harry's he said, "Harry."

Harry looked up, perplexed with the interruption.

"Severus and I…we discussed your situation." Harry nodded. "We believe it's…unfair of the Headmaster to ask you to simply be bedded and then be done with it. Losing your virginity should not be something to just 'get over with.' And not by someone you may or may not have feeling for, who you may or may not know well." Harry shrugged. "So…we decided to offer something a bit unorthodox. But completely accepted here in the Wizarding World." Harry raised an eyebrow, eerily replicating Severus' signature expression. "We would like to offer to…deflower you."

Harry blinked at the two men owlishly before swallowing and saying, "I don't understand?"

Severus took over here, "Potter. Threesomes are common in the wizarding world. Twins especially since they are, in essence, two parts of one soul and cannot be without each other. Often twins will find their soul mates, I suppose you could call them, and take part in a threesome."

Harry nodded, still a bit confused.

Severus smiled slightly, "We are offering to take you to our bed and introduce you to the pleasures of the flesh, but, before that, to allow you the opportunity to become more comfortable with us. In the role of being our lover."

Remus nodded, and added, "We basically would like to date you."

Harry stared at them wide eyed, and blinked blankly at them for nearly a minute, before saying, softly, "I would like to say yes. But…"

Remus squeezed Harry's hand encouragingly. Harry looked up, "You're sure. I don't want to...come between you two…"

Severus smirked before rising up and rounding the table towards Harry. Pulling Harry up, who was putty in the Potions Master's strong hands, he whispered in Harry's ear, "Oh I hope you do. More than once as well." Harry blushed slightly but then Severus' face took on a focused look. Taking Harry's face in his hands, he descended onto the younger man's lips, at first just gently touching his lips to Harry's, before pressing harder, licking Harry's lips to gain entrance, and then ravaging his mouth. Harry gasped and moaned, twining his arms around Severus neck and burying on hand in the other man's raven hair. Severus proceeded to explore every part of his mouth, twining his tongue with Harry's and relishing the taste that was simply Harry. When breathing became necessary, they parted, but Severus kept his hands around Harry's hips as Harry rested his head against Severus' shoulder, gasping for breath.

Remus had risen to stand behind Harry and gently wrapped his arms around the other Gryffindor. "Not fair Severus. You can't have all the fun." Harry looked up to see Remus kiss Severus quickly before the wolfish amber eyes turned to Harry. Severus spun Harry around and Remus captured his lips in a kiss that was powerful yet gentle. Different from Severus' kisses, but just as arousing. Harry moaned again, the intense feelings overtaking his body. When Remus released him, Harry sagged against the wolf, resting his head against Remus' chest.

"If you guys keep kissing me like that I'll never function properly."

Severus and Remus smirked. "Does that mean you are accepting our offer?"

Harry smiled and rubbed his cheek against Remus cardigan covered chest. "Of course."

* * *

**Review please!**

**A/N2: A few people have asked if I intend on writing more of this. I do have more ideas and I may choose to continue it after I finish Puzzles and Love, but for now this is it :]  
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